As I was waiting to pick my daughter up from her
weekly youth group at Church, I was reading through Facebook
I believe it was Amy Glass's intention, to be provocative
in her title, and sure enough - I had read through the entire article before
I had to reread the title, and the article to check for
any satire, sarcasm or abstract metaphors before I formulated a response.
Since it seems as if she is intentionally engaging
in a vexing rant post, not really sure if she cares or wants a rebuttal,
I feel one is absolutely necessary - for me -
and anyone who happens to google her name.
Glass's post I will be responding to is entitled:
Well, Amy - I applaud you!
You're exercising your free speech, the brain you were born with
and your socioeconomic freedom
to express yourself in such a way that is sure to generate a lot of chatter.
I have to say that your assessment of how 'average' it is
for anyone to get married and get pregnant is SPOT ON.
There is nothing unique, since it has been happening
literally since the beginning of time.
Certainly complainers have been around just as long,
coming back from the water well with the day's worth of water,
scrubbing laundry in the river with rocks and animal fat,
I'm with you - what do women today have to complain about?
Turn on faucet: water whenever, wherever.
Turning on a washing machine certainly isn't labor intensive.
Also, like you pointed out, anyone/everyone can do it.
I think the biggest thing you're missing is what is unique
about this group of women that you look down upon
is this: STAYING MARRIED and RAISING CHILDREN
IS exceptional.
I think the culture of today has really mucked up
or even jaded your vision of what *really* goes on
with many (I won't generalize and say ALL, or even MOST)
married stay at home mom's.
I can only assume by your tone that you're not
married and certainly not a mother as you state:
"you will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility
to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids."
Since you have a quest for exceptionalism,
I really would like to enlighten you to what *actually* happens
when married stay at home mom's are doing their jobs.
I can safely speak for hundreds of women that I have met,
personally or read as published authors, and amateur bloggers who seek a community
for exactly what you say we lack: to be exceptional.
And the truth is, not ONE of these women would ever admit
to EVER feeling exceptional.
But here's what I know:
Just as the doctor and engineer and business builders
seek extra education, join networks and engage with other like-minded individuals
to help grow, stretch and build their careers -
We married stay at home mom's do the same thing.
We have shelves full of books on all aspects of marriage and parenting,
an insatiable appetite for knowledge of how to be the best,
and surround ourselves with women we admire in hopes we can be great via osmosis.
We attend conventions, read articles, meet regularly with mentors
to make sure we are on track.
We are not only vessels for the future of humanity
with our bodies for 10 months - which most female mammals are = average -
Us married stay a home moms are committed to
shaping and building the hearts and minds of our children
to BE the best of humanity for the future.
We are voraciously seeking out the best for our children,
not in stuff - which, again - anyone can do with a few bucks -
but making sure our children ARE the best
by building their character and cultivating their life's purpose.
Yes: feeding, clothing and driving them around is average.
Its the hard stuff: self sacrifice, discipline and many sleepless nights
in prayer agonizing about HOW their child will
greatly affect their world now and in the future.
Do doctors, business builders and engineers experience the same things?
You bet!
Stress isn't anything new, and certainly not unique to those earning a paycheck.
I think being an exceptional mother can successfully be boiled down to a word:
Sacrifice.
Sacrificing our personal passions to cultivate the purpose of our child(ren).
{And I'm not even going to complicate things with the fact that
many of these exceptional wives and mothers have
founded, and manage very lucrative businesses, too.}
Now, there is the staying married part.
Anyone can get married.
Vegas knows that.
Staying married is the hard part.
It truly doesn't matter how beautiful, fit or "put together" you are as a wife.
Hollywood knows that!
Even the most beautifully fit and seemingly put together
women have failed marriages.
Staying married is all about
Service.
Being a maid? A cook? A housekeeper?
Not that kind of service.
It is about the attitude of your heart.
Does the wife wake up with the attitude of:
"what can I get FROM this man today?"
or
"what can I do FOR this man today?"
This breeds a culture of service within the marriage
where both spouses are serving each other.
THAT is the secret to a lasting marriage.
Do engineers, doctors and business builders know sacrifice & service?
I would assume all the great ones do.
Sacrificing time with their families or vacation time for their business.
Servicing their customers to the best of their abilities.
So, perhaps we have more in common than you think.
Perhaps you don't have a woman in your life
that embodies the sacrifice and service that it takes to be
an EXCEPTIONAL stay at home wife and mom.
If that is true, then I am sad for you.
I'd like to extend my hand to you and introduce you
to some of these women who embody this model.
I don't expect this post to change your mind...
...but perhaps the ledge you're on that looks down on us
will get a little closer to the ground.
